My thoughts, my blog, my God.
My future. My plan. My goals.
My calling.
Strict Avoidance and living purely in the moment.
God has been speaking to me, been trying to get through
sending me messages
And I have been glossing them over,
Lightening them.
As I mentioned, avoidance.
I won't even tap into my own feelings.
?
And in the midst of this, I keep winning awards for my spirituality!
Sonlight Female award- out of all BCS female athletes
Outstanding Senior Award- out of our entire graduating class
If there is one thing graduating has shown me, it is that I have done a great job the past four years in living my life for Christ and letting others see it, learn from it, and change by it.
And somehow, in the very peak of my confusion...when I throughly think- "Any moment now someone is going to confront me, wondering why I have been acting like this..."
They are all praising my accomplishments
Praising my God for what he has done for me, and what they see him doing in the future.
So what's my problem?
Am I really going to go down like this? After everything.. after all I have been through, all God has given me.
Will I let this slip away?
Sunday morning's message was on complacency in your faith- that applies to me
Sunday night, Charles message was on being honest with fellow believers about what is going on in your life- that applies to me (especially concerning he and Kristen, as I lied to them about my own personal issues..)
God showed me this passage today:
1 Corinthians 15:55-58
"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"
"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
THIS definitely applies to me. There is a calling on my life to shake this world up for Christ. To turn it upside down. To Change It. I can feel it, and so can everyone else it seems.
Yet lately, I have not been giving myself fully to the Lord's work.
It's driving me crazy cause, typically that is all I do. I've become lazy, in a certain respect, figuring I can pick up where I left of later.
Let. NOTHING.Move.You.
To whom much is given
Much will be required
I'm just wondering how much longer God will give me before he begins taking away....
1 comment:
If there's one thing I've learned recently, it's that we are not big enough to ruin God's plans. And thank Him for that. Because I don't want to. But am I too proud to let someone else work where I am not?
So maybe we both have to stop avoiding and face the music. We both know it's not as bad as we think it will be.
At least for me, it feels like I'm about to disappoint Him. That I'm dumping crap on Him and He doesn't deserve that. How could He want that?
But it's no use trying to understand how God works. Just know He does...in very mysterious ways.
You know all this.
I know all this.
Now it's about living it.
And maybe you're getting all these rewards and being reminded because that's exactly what you need. To be reminded. Not just what you've become over the past four years, but what God has done through you. And it's already so amazing...He's barely even begun!
If there's something I know about, it's putting stuff off. And it's a really hard habit to break because it's so terribly easy to do. Just put it off. Wait until tomorrow...but tomorrow never comes. It's always today..
So don't put off until tomorrow what you could have done yesterday.
It's tearing away from all that's holding you back and throwing yourself at His feet before you can think to pull yourself away.
You already know He loves you. So let Him.
I'm not going to tell you it's going to be easy. You're going through a huge transition in your life right now. It's pretty scary. And maybe you're just blocking, making a dam against the emotions that are threatening to burst out.
Go drive somewhere and let it out. Even if you don't feel like there's anything there. Go somewhere where you can be alone and say what you feel or even think you feel. "I'm angry!" "I'm scared!" Whatever. It's incredible how we work. When we let it out and tell Him about it...that's when He can help us with our burden.
Don't be a pressure cooker that doesn't let out any steam. Or it's going to get messy.
Sorry for rambling dear.
I just let it go as it came.
Love you.
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